I have to laugh to keep from crying. For real, y'all, this feels so awful. Like stomach-twisted, off-my-feed, feel-like-crying kind of awful. I only had 10 pre-orders for Lazerin, but as a new author with a very small audience, I cherish every single one of my readers. Not for the royalties or the pats on the back, but for the fact that someone else enjoyed Traitor enough to want to find out what happens next.
I could blame COVID or stress or work, but the truth is that I thought Lazerin was basically done when I put it up for pre-order months ago. I set it aside to put the finishing touches on Traitor and get it through release, thinking I just needed one more line edit pass on Lazerin. By the time I got back to it, I hated everything I'd written. The core was there. The story. But the way I'd told it was every shade of wrong. It was shallow and flat and I hated it. I've spent the last two months furiously rewriting, breathing life into these chapters. It's almost there, but it's not there yet.
I let you down. I didn't deliver. I am unimaginably ashamed of that fact, but I promise it's coming soon. My obsessive, perfectionist brain WILL finish this book, and it will be RIGHT, before I put it in your hands. You deserve nothing less.